Hey, and today we’re going to be talking about how to get your ex boyfriend back and if that’s what you want to do, keep reading.
I’ll break the process of getting your boyfriend back into five steps. I’ll start with step one.
What is the first thing you need to do if you want your boyfriend back?
Believe it or not, the first thing to do is actually the same as even if you want to just move on and not get him back and that’s recovery.
Get over him to the point where you can think rationally, act rationally around him and generally make good decisions about getting him back. Basically, this is all getting over a breakup. It’s all the same things you would do if you didn’t want him back.
The first thing is don’t talk to him. Just simply leave him alone for, I recommend about a month. Just completely drop off your ex’s radar for now.
Also, remove any reminders of your boyfriend from your life. Take those stuffed animals and those birthday cards and whatever it is and put them in a box and put them out of site so that you’re not reminded.
You may even need to hide his Facebook updates from your news feed and delete his phone number from your phone, whatever it is to not be reminded of your ex.
You don’t want to be thinking about him right now, you want to be recovering. That also means you got to stay busy. Don’t stay at home. I know that’s what you feel like doing, is staying at home, sleeping, crying, whatever.
That’s not what you want to do right now. Go out. Hang out with your friends. Be social. Have a ladies’ night on the town. Go to the gym. Buy some new clothes. Work on your goals in life and school, whatever it is, just keep busy during this first period of time after the breakup.
Here in step two is where you need to make him miss you. Make your ex-boyfriend miss you so that he wants you back.
Well, how do you do that?
Let’s think about what makes someone miss something. Your boyfriend became extremely accustomed to having you around. He was so used to having you as part of his daily life that if you simply disappear like I recommended in the previous step where you’re just ignoring him, that’s just by itself going to make him miss you.
Just a simple fact of life is if you suddenly disappear from someone’s life and they’ve become accustomed to having you around and they’ve enjoyed your company, all of a sudden they disappear, boom, he’s going to miss you.
That’s actually a very easy thing to do, is simply ignore him. That’s why you’ll often see this strategy recommended around the internet. Often it’s referred to as no contact rule.
I generally recommend about a month of no contact to make him miss you to the point where he’s going to be at least probably on some level want to get back together just to quash those feelings and sort of make that feeling of missing you go away.
The easiest way to make him miss you, well the only way to make him miss you is go through this no contact phase. Now, a lot of women say when I talk about this no contact phase, they say, “What about because I live with him?” Or “What about if we had kids together?” or what if this, what if that.
There’s a lot of what ifs here in this no contact phase. I don’t have time to discuss it all right now but if you do want to learn more about no contact or you have a unique situation, go over Ex Factor Guide website ( the link is at the end of the post ) and watch the free video.
Now, onto step three. This is where you’re going to make him have second thoughts. You’ve already started this on the previous step because he’s missing you like mad.
You’re wondering, if he’s missing you like crazy, why did he do this in the first place, was it the right decision. But you’re going to play up on this even further by just generally showing him that you are doing really well.
By thriving in life after the breakup and by generally improving yourself and your own life to the point where he’s going to think to himself, “Wow, I let a great girl walk out of my life. Was that the right thing to do?”
What kind of self-improvement things am I talking about here?
Well, for starters, as I mentioned before, hang out with your friends and be really social. Have a great social life. Have fun. Make your self more appealing, both physically and intellectually.
Go to the gym. Buy some new clothes. Dedicate yourself to your work or your study. Whatever it is, generally improve your life and make yourself more attractive to him.
Also, this is a great time to go on some dates. I know you probably don’t feel like dating other men right but the very fact that you’re dating, that you’re potentially moving on, will scare your ex to a certain extent and make him think, “Wow, she was able to find a new guy really quickly. Did I make the right decision letting her go?”
Again, that’s all what step three is about here. It’s all about making him have second thoughts.
Now onto step four. This is where you’re first going to contact your ex after the no contact period.
Remember, you’ve been ignoring him for roughly a month so far.
He’s missing you and you’ve started to make some changes to your life to make yourself more attractive and make him have second thoughts.
Now it’s time to start putting it all together and to reach out to your ex.
The first few times you contact your ex are absolutely not the right time to try to convince him to get back together. Nothing you can do or say, at this point, is going to magically make him want you back.
This is not the time to have long drawn out discussions about the breakup, about your relationship, about the future. Just keep it simple and fun and upbeat and just generally show your ex a good time.
Don’t even continue the conversations for more than a minute or two. Just a couple of text messages, a quick two-minute phone call to remind him that you’re still around, that you’re doing really well, you’re thriving since the breakup and just keep things, like I said, fun, upbeat and avoid any drama.
If you want to get more information about how to contact your ex or what the right means are or what to say, again, go to the link at the end of this post.
Yes, that’s step four, is just reaching out to your ex in a very simple, quick way, be happy, show him how well you’re doing.
Then onto step five which is to set up an in-person meeting. This is where it all comes together.
You’ve gone to the point now where you’ve made him miss you, you’ve shown him the new you, you’ve got him thinking about you.
Now you have to put it all together in-person.
First, how do you set up an in-person meeting? I recommend just sort of doing it as a friend. Just suggest that you catch up over coffee or drinks after work.
Whatever it is, just get him along for 30 minutes, so that you can do, what I’m about to suggest in a minute, which is flirt.
Build sexual attraction.
Get back the physical and romantic side of your relationship so that he associates that with you.
Now, again, as I mentioned in step four where you’re first contacting him, this is not the time to talk about your relationship. It’s not the time to bring up old arguments, drama, nothing negative at all in this meeting.
All you want to do is show him how well you’re doing, show him a good time. Make him laugh, have fun together and flirt. Seduce him again.
The goal here should, generally speaking, be to build sexual tension and show him the new you. Show him the changes you made to your life and how well you’re doing.
A lot of people ask, especially at this point, “Should I have sex with my ex boyfriend? Should I sleep with him?”
Quite frankly, the answer is: it depends.
If you want to ask that question and tell more about your situation just head over to The Ex Factor Guide website here. Thanks so much for reading. Bye for now.